I guess I’m a little late throwing my hat into the ring on this one, but what the fuck? The allegation is that the Chief of the IMF and early front runner for the French Presidency finished a shower at the same time that a hotel maid came into his New York hotel room to do some light dusting. He wandered out of the bathroom and attacked the maid like some sexual zombie and then forced his penis into said maid’s mouth (a note to prospective rapists, this might not be a good idea unless your target happens to be a hockey player with all of her teeth knocked out). The maid then escaped. Strauss-Kahn then allegedly dropped everything, leaving numerous personal items in his hotel room, and made a break for the airport where he was escorted off the plane bound for Paris by Port Authority cops.
They’re called hookers Dominique. If you need your penis in a woman’s mouth that badly there are actually professionals who will perform such a service for a fee.
In other news, the Euro is down. Who would have guessed that the thing to rally the Greenback against the Euro would be the sexual idiocy of the Chief of the IMF? Now some people are claiming that this was all a set-up and that the maid is either fabricating this out of whole cloth (kind of shot down by the defense allegations that it was consensual oral during the preliminary hearing) or that she was a plant who had sex with Strauss-Kahn and is now claiming rape because she is being paid by Strauss-Kahn’s enemies. The best one I heard is that someone slipped some ecstasy into Dominque’s coffee then called the maid up to his room for a cleaning. I almost wish this is what happened.
This whole thing is so outlandish it could have been a scene in my novel (link to the right, end of shameless plug).
Edit: If Dominique Strauss- Kahn is looking for other activivites to keep his penis busy, he should look into this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwd5faVtfEI&feature=player_embedded (it takes 1 minute 20 seconds to get going, but it is worth the wait)